Saturday, November 02, 2013

TAKE BACK YOUR TALES, YOU VAGABOND

National Novel Writing Month is here, making it easier for me to accomplish one of the things on my to-do list for 2013. The cool kids, like Minard and Melinda, plan to peck-peck-peck away on their creations, and the way I figure it, I might as well join them while I'm on a typing roll. Besides, it's not like I have big plans for November.

One thing about this thing called NaNoWriMo: there should be some levity involved. Writing is thirsty work, and lesser humans have succumbed to the insane notion that it must be taken seriously, as befits High Art. That's when the madness starts. An acquaintance lit into me and told me I needed to be serious about this "craft," a word choice that caused me to roll my eyes and giggle — probably not the right reaction, but sweet Jesus, lighten up. This isn't rocket surgery. Yes, there is some magic involved — words alone can evoke emotion — but the only people who die in this line of work are made-up characters and the occasional junkie or drunkard. Viewed from that perch, it's hard to maintain decorum.

That said, I doubt I'll be plunking down 45 bucks for a NaNoWriMo hoodie, even if I can "(r)ock it on a writing trip to the cafe to impress your baristas with its chicness, or while curled up on the couch on a Saturday morning to impress your pets with its softness." If I wore it I'd feel like one of the Van Buren Boys, flashing the crazy 8s and hanging with punks who want to become city planners. Maybe even slipping in the mud and ruining the very pants I was about to return, 'cause that's what I used to do when I was banging.

I think I'll stick with the rondavis modified schlub look for this novel attempt at writing a novel. And I'll be hoping someone shows "The Van Buren Boys" episode of Seinfeld between now and Nov. 30. In addition to the VBBs, the show features Peterman buying Kramer's stories, and Jerry's friends staging an intervention because he's dating someone they don't like. As George puts it, "this whole Ellen situation has gone far enough." How could I not have an affinity for that episode?

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