Wednesday, September 11, 2013

GLOWING LIKE THE METAL ON THE EDGE OF A KNIFE

I hate being a pussy.

Too much self-doubt, too many nagging worries, not enough confidence: these are the things that conspire in my head to hobble my swagger. No self-respecting badass allows that to happen.

Working overnight this week has helped sharpen that certainty. A silent newsroom in the middle of the night cuts through the bullshit and does wonders for clarity. So does sleeping during the daytime; the dreams have been incredibly vivid, and in them I am emboldened, not diminished. I do not bite my tongue; I make my voice heard. In them my shoulders are thrown back and my head is held high. I glow.

The things I dream about are neither long ago nor far away, and life was certainly much better then than it is today. But that's no excuse to whine. If I can glow in dreams, I can do it while awake, and not just under black light. Selah.

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