Life is quiet, mostly silent. This is what suits me, a place where I can be alone with my thoughts, where I can accept what is happening and view it with relative detachment. I cannot allow myself the luxury of feeling too much, of venturing too far from the quiet. I have to keep my eyes closed and my mouth shut, lest I say what is on my mind. The vivid dreams tell me I'm doing plenty of thinking, but it all has to stay up there for now. I can't even begin to give voice to it.
Instead I sleep, still exhausted and barely breathing (and to quote Kanye, holding on to what I believe in). It's a ridiculous thing to do, I know, because I don't really believe in anything anymore. Life is one step forward each day. Yesterday was sunny and beautiful. Tonight there might be snow. I'm off to dreamland soon, where I can glory in the visions illuminating my mind and try to forget this ugly black-and-white world, if only for a little while.