Saturday, February 16, 2013
IMAGINARY PHONE CALL IN 5/4 TIME
Hi. What's up?
I was going to ask you the same thing. All well in your world?
I'm doing great.
Excellent. Listen, I don't want to bother you —
You're not bothering me.
Of course I am. But you're nice to say otherwise. I just wanted you to know that you really didn't need to lie to me over the past year. You know, the whole "I miss you, I want to spend time with you, I enjoy our time together" thing. It's pretty clear that all of that was bullshit and all it did was make me believe. I was angry, but I'm over it. It was stupid on my part to believe what you were saying.
I wasn't lying to you.
Whatever you say. You're just moving forward. I get it. So am I.
I'm glad. I want what's best for you.
Again, thanks for saying that, but you don't really mean it. Last summer you wouldn't even face the fact that you were best for me. Nothing has changed. It's all still true. So please don't tell me you want what's best. That's not what you want.
Did you call just to argue?
No. I called to say I'm sorry — for you having to put up with my shit. For you getting caught up in the whirlwind. For taking advantage of your good nature. I thought it was what you wanted — you told me it was what you wanted — but I should have listened more. I didn't. I can't take it back. Given another chance I would do better. But that stuff belongs in another time, another era. Maybe one day we'll meet again. You used to say you had no doubt about that. Despite it all, I still believe you. I still need to believe you.
Ah, the silence returns. It was good of you to pick up the phone. I really just called to hear your voice on the voicemail message. And just so you know — I'm glad you're happy. I've moved on, too, and there is happiness here. But the bells have fallen silent and the silence is so loud I've gone deaf.
I miss your voice. I miss your quiet. I miss you. Take good care of yourself.
You, too. Thanks for calling.
You bet. See you in dreamland.