Friday, February 08, 2013


Last day of the workweek, last of the five brights before the weekend. It has been exhausting, this latest scamper through the world of jobs and responsibilities. I can't wait to unwind and unplug my head and watch movies. I can't wait for quiet company.

Wait: the menu has changed. That special is no longer being served. Plenty of other delicious items available, some flown in fresh from the coast to please my palate, but my favorite dish has been discontinued. No matter.

I needed to drop a few pounds anyway. Maybe I'll take a night walk around the block, around the neighborhood, around the city. I may be exhausted but there is a reservoir of untapped nervous energy inside my brain, just waiting to hit the atmosphere and a roiling boil. A walk would do me good, anyway. One foot ahead of the other, clomp clomp clomp kick, using the cadence to drop my guard and get to the place where I can think of not thinking. Zazen.

It was easier to find that peace in a quiet place. It was nice to know there would be that peace at the end of brutal weeks. It was a revelation to find I wasn't the only one who felt that way. But easy, nice revelations are rare, they are far from guaranteed, and they often vanish in a blink, the light winking out so fast that the shadows are unexpected and sometimes scary.

But I'm a big boy. My eyes are acclimated to the dark. No worries.

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