Tuesday, July 17, 2012
WHAT I WANT VERSUS WHAT I NEED
(Are you kidding? All you do is blather on.)
I am tired of keeping my mouth shut when it comes to the things that mean the most to me.
(All you do is go on and go about your life.)
Let me finish, please. God, please let me finish.
(Fine. Go ahead. I'm listening.)
For once in my life I don't want to be a beautiful loser. I no longer want to be second-best. For once in my life I recognize this fact: I deserve something great. And lasting. Something that resonates, reverberates. Something that lingers.
Why else am I here? Why am I busting my head up against a wall, being patient and kind, being a gentleman, being a man? Being a friend? I'm only asking to be treated with a modicum of kindness and consideration.
You keep telling me I'm a good person. Well, I believe you. I don't deserve to be slapped around and treated like a second-rate citizen. If I was a bad human I would understand, but I'm a good man. A decent man. And you shouldn't treat a decent man so indecently.
Yeah, it's scary being friends with someone who really knows you. Trust me: it scares me, too. But it's a relief, too.
Pardon the gender bend: I want to be the girl with the most cake. And yeah, they really want you, but I do, too.
You often say you don't mean to be so selfish. This one time, I want to be what you've been. I want to be selfish.