Monday, July 02, 2012


Now that I know what I've been looking for — and now that I have it in my hands — I move forward with purpose and skepticism.

I know better than to trust anyone; the nameless woman in my dream told me that was my fatal undoing in my last chapter.

I know not to play nice, to cook dinner, to be a great boyfriend or good partner.

I know the foolishness at bleeding over things I never needed.

The thought of needing just a small adjustment to make things better: laughable.

The notion of becoming a happy little writerWhat the fuck was I thinking?

New Ron still rules this roost. But in the middle of him is this solid core of cold. It's 90-plus degrees outside and I feel like I'm freezing inside. I used to think that would be a horrible way to feel. But now that it's here, I don't mind it so much. Some would call it a bitter outlook on life. I would call it realistic. And at least it fills up part of my insides so I don't feel so empty. That's something good, yes?

I'm hanging in there. I have to see how the story ends.

Onward. Forward. No looking back.


Anonymous said...

I'm fixing to come up there to beat two asses, Red. Yours is the first. WTF did she do/not do this time?

RON DAVIS said...

Anon 626: She didn't do anything. I'm just cold and tired.