Friday, July 06, 2012


Dear Ron in the late 20th century,

Hiya. By the time you read this it will be too late for you to change a damned thing, So sorry, but no worries. Just be happy you're still alive in 2012, cause trust me/you/us — life is going to get very interesting.

It will be, as the kids used to say, a laff riot, amirite?

(Oh, wait. That word hasn't been invented yet. Never mind.)

You think you were here first and you've seen it all. Heh. You're what, in your 30s? You think you're as jaded as they come? Yeah, boy. You don't know jack shit. But it's cute that you think you do.

You're going to create things that you can't even imagine. People are going to give you opportunities that will freak you out. Don't worry. You will handle them. You'll do great.

A bit of too-late advice, though: don't believe the hype.

People are going to blow smoke up your ass and call you a badass, a playa. They will tell you how great you are, how your words evoke emotions in them. They will insist that you are handsome, charismatic, that you're the best thing that ever happened to them.

Yeah, yeah — whatever. Accept it with a wave of your hand and move on. Don't believe it. Don't embrace it as gospel. You will be bitterly disappointed if you do. Because the people who tell you these things — they mean well, you betcha, but they don't know what they're talking about, and they will forget their kind words long before you ever can or will.

Unfortunately for you/me/us, you didn't get this memo until it was too late. You swallowed the Blue Pill. The correct answer was Red Pill. But you didn't know. Poor bastard. Ignorance is bliss until it kicks you in the head and shows you the real world, the one where people change their minds like socks.

Here's another piece of advice, and this one you can do something with because it doesn't come too late: don't hold grudges. Don't hate. I mean, God — GAWD — it's going to be hard to do. There will be great temptation to burn the world around you once the Blue Pill wears off. You will fondle the box of matches and pick up the can of gasoline. Put them down, boy. You're better than that.

Find a place where grace still exists. Forgive those who were insincere. Accept what you are not. Trust me on this one.

And dude? Enjoy your hair while you can. And get used to walking. You're going to need the exercise.


Anonymous said...

Dear Red in the 21st Century, we need a Time Machine and a Mind Eraser.

Anonymous said...

Blue Pill or Red Pill? Ron of the early 1990's does not know what this means.