Wednesday, June 13, 2012


It's time for my wellness screening, which means fasting for 12 hours before being poked, prodded and provoked. The upside: saving money on health insurance premiums. The downside: My screening is at 6:20 a.m., which means I probably shouldn't have had that wine around 9 last night, or the fish and chips around 10:15. I probably shouldn't fire up the Macanudo Portofino, either.

So no surprises if the numbers look a little wonky today — but just between us girls, let's be candid: I've had my share of medical tests in the past couple months, so whatever the techs say today is ... whatever. In the last several months I've changed my lifestyle enough to drop my cholesterol by dozens of points. Hooray for me. Want a cigar?

I'm pretty blasé about the whole wellness screening. It's the way I feel about life this Wednesday morning. There's not much anyone can tell me these days that's going to rock my life. And even if it did, the mask is firmly affixed and I'm going to act like everything is fine, just fine (and remember, I speak girl). No one is getting through the mask today, and the only person I wish would see past the false face isn't paying attention and really couldn't care less. I am a lucky boy, yes?

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