Tuesday, June 26, 2012


de·sid·er·a·tum: something desired as essential.

Ugly men, beautiful women. Modern human history is filled with examples of this truth; you don't need to go back to Sandro Botticelli's day to find the pairing of Mars and Venus, of beauty and valor.

I submit to you these examples:

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley

Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova

Salman Rushdie and Min Lieskovsky

Save for that last pairing — God knows what Elizabeth sees in teeny-tiny Dennis K. — there is the common thread of art.

Billy Joel may not look like much, but he's the Piano Man, for God's sake. He wrote "Uptown Girl" about (and for) Brinkley. Ric Ocasek is lead vocalist for The Cars, an advantageous perch from which to woo supermodels. And Salman Rushdie — brother writes killer books and had a fatwā laid on his head by Muslim extremists. If that doesn't attract chicks, I don't know what does.

Guys who make art are magnetic, and beautiful women are drawn to those magnets like bears to honey (you can make your own claws joke here).

I am no Rushdie (I'd like to think I'm a little better looking) and I can't play piano or sing to save my soul. But I can string together sentences with some semblance of success, and in my life a few women have been attracted to that talent. God bless them, every one.

So what happens when a guy who relies on words for a living can't find the right words to win a beauty's stubborn heart? What happens when Venus and Mars are not alright tonight?

Mars waits, that's what. Once upon a time he would have panicked and blustered and blown it. But that was back in fairy-tale days, and now he knows better. For all his fiery nature, Mars has learned a new trick: patience. He has come to understand the joy of calming down and not thinking too much.

He understands balance.

And maybe he'll try to learn how to play piano. You know, just in case.


Anonymous said...

Or, you might try wooing someone new. Lots of fish in the ocean, my friend.

Kathryn said...

Well said, Red.

Anonymous said...


Since this particular blog post has a musical theme, I just wanted to throw this song in the mix. No, it has no relevence to your post but just go with it. It reminds me of your plight.